the deed is done .

I've been through such a tough time in my life . and there was nothing more hurt me than having a broken heart .

honestly .. I never had happy love story or what . I'm still working on it --by not letting myself to not so easy fall in love and trying to find somebody who's really worth to get my love ...

and I haven't met him yet :3

but back then when I was with Sky, I thought I've found the one though I was still 16 years old at that time . and I felt my first broken heart when he dumped me all of sudden, and then I was being chased by my bestfriend's fiancee, can you imagine that ? my life was totally "perfect" hahaha . and then I had relationship with somebody, that I can't tell.. how much I hate and adore him at the same time . though EVERYBODY tell me that he's a bad guy and he definitely DOESN'T deserve my love, I'm the only one who feel the way he made me feel . and he has another girlfriend now, and I'm so glad that I feel nothing when I heard the news... guess that I'm already over him ! kudos to me ! :D

and now I'm feeling so much peaceful when I decide not to fall in love just yet . my heart's been yelling to me this whole time to get a rest , and I think I deserve a rest ;) and besides, I just want to feel the way when somebody falls in love with me, not me fall in love with somebody . just like my mom said, "being loved is so much better than loving someone ..."

okay .. guess I'm gonna end my craps and go to bed x__x