Ten2five - Love is You

This is how I feel

Whenever I'm with you

Everything is all about you

Too good to be true

Somehow I just can't believe

You can lay your eyes on me

If this is a fairytale

I wish it will end happily ..

Even though we're apart

I can feel you here next to me

Here now and I will vow

Stay with me ...

Let me love you with all my heart

You are the one for me

You are the light of my sould

Let me hold you with my arms

I wanna feel love again

I wanna feel love again

I wanna feel love again

And I know love is you ..

new look :)

hahaha finally I got a new look for my blog .. I'm kinda bored with the old one , so I tried to arrange it once again .. and I love it . blue . and I still don't find any new title for my blog yet , and I love 'unfinished sky' anyway , so why bother ?

ahh .. talking about blue ..

I'm feeling blue right now .. it's not a sad feeling or what , but it's kinda .. calm ..

and I just can't get him out of my mind . he's always there ...

my shady cloud ..

don't stay too far away from me . I need you , I want you , please be mine ..

Sherina ~ Simfoni Hitam

malam sunyi kuimpikanmu , kulukiskan kita bersama

namun slalu aku bertanya , adakah aku di mimpimu ..

dihatiku terukir namamu, cinta rindu beradu satu

namun slalu aku , bertanya adakah aku di hatimu ..

 

tlah kunyanyikan alunan-alunan senduku ..

tlah kubisikkan cerita-cerita gelapku ..

tlah kuabaikan mimpi mimpi dan ambisiku ..

tapi mengapa ku takkan bisa

sentuh hatimu .. 

bila saja kau disisiku , kan kuberikan segalanya

namun tak henti aku bertanya , adakah aku di benakmu ..

 

tlah kunyanyikan alunan-alunan senduku ..

tlah kubisikkan cerita-cerita gelapku ..

tlah kuabaikan mimpi mimpi dan ambisiku ..

tapi mengapa ku takkan bisa

sentuh hatimu ..

tak bisakah kau sedikit saja dengar aku , dengar simfoniku , simfoni hanya untukmu .. 

tlah kunyanyikan alunan-alunan senduku ..

tlah kubisikkan cerita-cerita gelapku ..

tlah kuabaikan mimpi mimpi dan ambisiku ..

tapi mengapa ku takkan bisa

sentuh hatimu ..

my first dew

finally ... the very first tear ..
is falling .. just for you .

just let the haters do their jobdesc .

aku nggak ngerti kenapa harus ada orang yang segitu nggak sukanya sama orang lain sampai bikin gosip segala . oke , pastilah ada seseorang yang nggak aku sukai juga , tapi aku nggak sampai segitunya , yang bikin gosip , ngejauhin , atau ngejelekin orang lain . hahahaha . should I call those people , in this case , those GIRLS , pathetic ? yeah , I should . khe khe khe .

well ... aku sih nggak peduli ya mereka mau ngapain . mau ngegosipin kek , mau ngejauhin kek , atau mau neror atau nglabrak sekalipun .. I don't give a shit . I just do what I want to do and I don't give a damn about what people might say about me , apalagi klo masalah dari semua ini cuma karena suka ama cowok .

yaa . suka ama cowok yang punya terlalu banyak secret admirer .

yaah .. bodo amat lah . aku bakalan tetep suka ama dia meski banyak orang yang jadi nggak suka aku gara-gara itu hahah . kenapa sih , jealous much ? afraid if u'd get beaten , huh ? justru aku jadi tahu sih kalau aku rival yang cukup mengancam dan nggak bisa diremehkan , hahaha .

udah ah randomnya . let haters do their job description , and I love them . I love the fact that , they actually wish they were me . hahahaha :D

never.let.you.go.

This narrow path led me to the cross roads
I walked alone, feeling so lonely
I really hope there was someone to hold...

Then, I met you when I reached the cross roads
You looked into my eyes, and then you asked me to hold my hands
We walked together...
We shared joys and sorrows
We laughed, we cried,
And then I realized I've already lost my loneliness
I've already had someone standing by my side
We enjoyed our togetherness
The time was getting closer, but we ignored it...

Suddenly, it happened
I saw our road ended in an intersection
I hold your hands tighter than before
I asked you, "Should we end all of this?
I wanna feel this way forever. I don't wanna let you go..."

You smiled and wiped my tears
"We still have enough time. Let's carve another memories before that cross roads tell us apart..."

We walked slowly than before
But the time was never stop
Finally, we reached the end of our road
I hold you
I hold you tightly.

"Don't go!" I cried.
Our road ended and led us to the different paths
Our road was separated into two...

"But we have to continue our life..." You answered me.

"No... I don't want this to end..."

"This isn't an ending." you said, and you wiped my tears.
"Don't cry for me. your tears are too precious...
You have to trust me
Maybe this time, this cross roads can tear us apart
But our love will never going to end...
This time we have to be separated
But someday, you'll see,
Our roads will come together again
We will meet in another cross roads,
And it will be the last intersection.
You and I, we are meant to be together
We'll meet again someday, and we'll walk in the same road,
And that road will lead us to eternity..."

I smiled with tears hanging in the corner of my eyes...

"I wish you every happiness."

You let go my hands,
And I felt I lost my breathe away...

Now, we're walking in our own path
I laugh, I cry, I smile,
Without you by my side
Now, I start to run
'Coz I wanna reach the end of this road
'Coz I wanna reach the cross roads...
'Coz I know you're waiting in the end of my path.
I will see you there...
I will hold your hands like I used to do.
I won't be lonely anymore
I will get my happiness.

I know it,
I know.
You'll never get tired,
In waiting for me to come...

We will meet again
We will meet someday
The day will have arrived quickly,
And when it comes, I'll hold your hands tightly.
I will never let you go.

I will never
ever
let
you
go.

I love you...
Wait for me.

Wouldn't Change A Thing - Demi Lovato ft. Joe Jonas

It's like he doesn't hear a word I say

His mind is somewhere far away

And I don't know how to get there

It's like (she's way so serious)

all he wants is to chill out (She's always in a rush)

Makes me wanna pull all my hair out (and interrupting)

Like he doesn't even care (like he doesn't even care)

You, me, we're face to face

But we don't see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (like fire and rain)

You can drive me insane (you can drive me insane)

But I can't stay mad at you for anything

We're Venus and Mars (we're venus and mars)

We're like different stars (like different stars)

But you're the harmony to every song I sing

And I wouldn't change a thing ...

She's always trying to save the day
Just wanna let my music play
She's all or nothing
But my feelings never change

(Why, do you try to read my mind?) I try to read her mind
(It's not good to psychoanalyze) She tries to pick a fight
To get attention,
That's what all of my friends say

You, me, we're face to face

But we don't see eye to eye

 

Like fire and rain

You can drive me insane

But I can't stay mad at you for anything

We're Venus and Mars

We're like different stars

But you're the harmony to every song I sing

And I wouldn't change a thing ...

When I'm yes she's no,

When I hold on he just lets go ..

We're perfectly imperfect,

But I wouldn't change a thing , yeaah ...

Like fire and rain

You can drive me insane

But I can't stay mad at you for anything

We're Venus and Mars

We're like different stars

But you're the harmony to every song I sing

And I wouldn't change a thing ...

But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars
(We're Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars
(Like different stars)
But you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a
Wouldn't change a thing ...

I love this song till death , seriously :) 

What The Hell - Avril Lavigne

You say that I'm messing with your head
All 'cause I was making out with your friend
Love hurts whether it's right or wrong
I can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun

You're on your knees
Begging, "Please
Stay with me"
But honestly
I just need to be
A little crazy

All my life I've been good,
But now...
I'm thinking, "what the hell?"
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about...

If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now...
What the hell?

What?
What?
What?
What the hell?

So what if I go out on a million dates
You never call or listen to me anyway
I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day
Don't get me wrong, I just need some time to play

You're on your knees
Begging, "Please
Stay with me"
But honestly
I just need to be
A little crazy

All my life I've been good,
But now...
I'm thinking, "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about...

If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now...
What the hell?

La, la, la, la, la, la
Whoa, whoa
La, la, la, la, la, la
Whoa, whoa

You say that I'm messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
Yeah, I am messing with your head when
I'm messing with you in bed

All my life I've been good,
But now...
I'm thinking, "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
All my life I've been good,
But now...
I'm thinking, "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about...

(If you love me)

If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
(If you love me)
All my life I've been good
But now...
What the hell?

La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la

 

what's on my heart = you . what's on my mind = giving up .

entahlah .. perasaan manusia , apalagi cewek , itu bisa berubah segitu drastisnya yah .

jadi begini ceritanya ...

tadi aku buka facebook dan really surprised karena dia ganti propicnya <I REALLY WISH I COULD SHOW YOU HIS NEW PP (ˇ＾ˇ)> dan aku langsung meleleh , klepek-klepek , melayang , mimisan dan entahlah apa lagi .. karena dia begitu mempesona di fotonya itu .. yah , aslinya nggak usah ditanya , dia lebih mempesona lagi :)

dan ya saat itu aku ngerasa seneng , bahagia , dan terpesona jadi satu saat melihat fotonya , sampai-sampai aku nulis status yang segitu lebaynya di twitter hehehe . tapi , beberapa saat kemudian aku seolah dihantam kenyataan (ceilehh ..) kalau dia terlalu nggak mungkin buat aku .

bukannya aku negatif thinking atau apa . hanya saja .. kalau kamu tahu gimana dia , kesehariannya dia , cewek2 yang naksir dia , ya Tuhan .. kamu pasti pengen nyerah saat itu juga . terlalu nggak mungkin ! he's totally out of my league .

jadi yaa .. sudahlah .. maybe I'm better off this way .. giving up before I expect too much ..

love is you ♥

I saw you from the distance and I wish upon the stars
If only I could stare at you .. watching you closely ..
But all I can do is wishing , and wishing over again
And still .. nothing happens .

Everybody says that nothing is impossible
yeah, I know .. but I'm just trying to be realistic
that you're too high for me to reach
that .. you're the only thing that impossible to me

maybe .. I gotta let you go
before I dream and expect you much
it's better for me to leave
leave you .. and trying to live in reality ..

pictures of me :)

 

is it wrong if I say , that I love my laugh so damn much ? :) 

 

peek :D 

special jacket for someone special :)

 

guess what that is ?

yeah . that's a pair of jackets . couple jackets .

aku beli udah lamaa banget . aku suka banget ama jaket ini dan masa bodoh meski jaket ini jaket couple dan waktu itu aku masih jomblo , ya aku belii aja .

ehh nggak lama kemudian aku punya pacar . udah HAMPIR aja aku kasih ke dia, tapi puji TUHAN sebelum niat itu kelaksana kami udah putus . sayang banget kan jaket sebagus ini jatuh ke tangan orang yang salah :3

well, maybe ini hal yang sepele sih . tapi beneran deh , aku pengen jaket ini jatuh ke tangan orang yang sangat beruntung , seseorang yang sangat spesial buat aku . entah siapa , entah kapan , heaven knows :)

yang pasti orang itu , lelaki itu , adalah orang yang sangat beruntung , :)

and I get bored yesterday .. coz I had nothing to do . iseng-iseng foto pake webcam , jadinya lucu ! heheheh :D

 

okay , off to bed now . gotta have a nice day tomorrow , I hope .

Nitez people :) 

missing you already, guys ..

these last three days I went to freshman camp at Pasionis , Bandulan , Malang . I can't tell how grateful I was for being there , felt such a new family I just found and I didn't regret it . I got so much lessons and new best friends , and I hope I always could be a part of them :') I just love you guys till death :)

and Gosh .. it was so damn fun ! XD 

Yohan - Chandra - Donna - Me - Bernadette

I love this pic :)

I can't stop laughing when I was with them :')

listening

laugh , and laugh . no more sadness :)

guess who's the one in the middle with the yellow shirt ? it's me ! xD

friendship we're in love :)

I went to Jatim Park 1 last Tuesday with my girlfriends... and it's so much relieving out pain after those sucks examination ! check it out !

lesson learned .

today ... I heard a news about my ex and his new girlfriend . well, wait guys, it's not I still remember him or what , not at all, read my lips, NOT AT ALL , but today I shared a lot with my sista and I told her about the kind of our relationship we ever had .. and she said that I should've realized how lucky I was for being dumped .

and I think about it over and over again .. and then I agree with her . I AM LUCKY .

trus .. nggak tau kenapa aku tiba-tiba sadar . kalau selama ini Tuhan udah negur aku dengan sangat lembut supaya aku nggak nerusin relationship aku ama dia . mulai dari peringatan kakak-kakak yang ngasih tahu aku karakternya dia gimana , trus hubunganku ama dia yang nggak seindah pasangan lain , trus kecuekannya dia yang harusnya jadi sign kalau dia nggak butuh itu semua .. dan aku ignored semua sign-sign itu . 

Tuhan  nggak tega aku kayak gini terus , yang udah bikin komitmen konyol "I will never let go of your hands until you let go of mine" , akhirnya ngasih aku teguran yang cukup keras : He let me being dumped .

aku nggak bohong , aku sempat mengalami saat-saat kehancuran dimana aku ngerasa Tuhan itu nggak adil , when I finally had someone , he had to be somebody that hurt me a lot . well , aku akhirnya menyerah dengan keadaan yang memang nggak bisa lagi diubah dan harus menenggak kenyataan lumayan pahit dimana dia ngedapetin penggantiku dalam waktu satu bulan aja . hebat yah dia ? tepuk tangan ... LMFAO xP

but , again , I'm so grateful now . no feeling dumped is left , I'm soo damn fine right now , I don't even care if he gets married now , all that I care about is how grateful I am because I couldn't do nothing when he dumped me all of sudden .

THAT WAS THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER , GOD . thank YOU for saving me !

and geez , stop talking about that fuckin' jerk ..

I got a life which is so damn fun to live ! 

complicated heart ♥

I'm exhausted with this complicated heart

would you take it away ?

I'm so done of being hurt

if only I could run away ...

the deed is done .

I've been through such a tough time in my life . and there was nothing more hurt me than having a broken heart .

honestly .. I never had happy love story or what . I'm still working on it --by not letting myself to not so easy fall in love and trying to find somebody who's really worth to get my love ...

and I haven't met him yet :3

but back then when I was with Sky, I thought I've found the one though I was still 16 years old at that time . and I felt my first broken heart when he dumped me all of sudden, and then I was being chased by my bestfriend's fiancee, can you imagine that ? my life was totally "perfect" hahaha . and then I had relationship with somebody, that I can't tell.. how much I hate and adore him at the same time . though EVERYBODY tell me that he's a bad guy and he definitely DOESN'T deserve my love, I'm the only one who feel the way he made me feel . and he has another girlfriend now, and I'm so glad that I feel nothing when I heard the news... guess that I'm already over him ! kudos to me ! :D

and now I'm feeling so much peaceful when I decide not to fall in love just yet . my heart's been yelling to me this whole time to get a rest , and I think I deserve a rest ;) and besides, I just want to feel the way when somebody falls in love with me, not me fall in love with somebody . just like my mom said, "being loved is so much better than loving someone ..."

okay .. guess I'm gonna end my craps and go to bed x__x 

I'm so done with taken guy !

geeez . I guess my love life story is extremely pathetic . being dumped after 2 years together , and then being chased by my bestfriend's boyfriend , being dumped (again) by somebody who's not worth it at all , and being chased again by somebody's boyfriend .

what a PERFECT life indeed -____-

GUA ILFEEL AMA LO FUCK !

sometimes I want such a normal life, like the other teenagers have . falling in love with somebody , then having relationship , wish it'd be long lasting but if it get broken , they could look for another one , falling in love again , and having relationship again .

but it's not that easy for me -__-

but now, since I changed my mind-set and also my life-priority , I guess that's the only thing that doesn't matter anymore . I don't really care about "finding-the-one" concept and you could say that I'm totally GIVING UP .. and let God decide it all for me . His decision is always the best one, though .

and how about Cloud ? well, I just knew that he's kinda selective person, and just like my Sky was, he's searching for the last one .. he doesn't see a girl by her perfection or her beauty, but by her inner beauty I guess .

And I was trying to be myself all the time ... if it doesn't fit him, I know that I gotta give up now .

geez ...

happiness is not what you got, it's just what you think about :)

have you ever heard that human's thought is the most powerful thing in the world ?

that's not kidding, that's true . you are what you think .

it was simple, I was so upset all of sudden and there wasn't any causes why I've been so upset . all that I knew was I just wanted to explode my anger and I just wanted to angry . all the time . so I stuck in my room, I didn't meet anybody after churching and I went to sleep to fix my mood . and I still didn't know what happened to me .

but then ... I remember that my mind totally affects everything that happens to me, every single thing that I could feel . and that's why I'm starting to change my mind-set and I'm trying to think about happiness ...

and it just happens . I'm happy now .

well, we're totally what we think, right ? :)

okay... I guess I need to go to bed now . and I can barely wait for Thursday , I'm going to Jatim Park with my girlfriends coz we literally need refreshing and different air :)

God bless us all . have a nice beginning on this Monday friends :)

I really love my smile, and I'm happy coz I still can show you this kind of smile :)

Joe Brooks - Superman Lyric

There are no words,
To paint a picture of you girl.
Your eyes and those curves,
Is like your from some other world.

You walking my way,
Oh God is so frustrating.
So why do I disappear,
When you come near,
It makes me feel so small.
Why do I blow my lies,
Most every time,
Like I've got no chance at all.

If I could your superman,
Flying to the stars,
And back again.
Cause every time you touch my hand,
And you feel my powers, running through your veins.
But I can only write this song,
And tell you, That I'm not that strong.
Cause I'm no superman,
I hope you like me as I am.

No it ain't no lie,
I have to tell you how I feel.
But each time that I try,
It gets a little more unreal.
You say my name,
Oh God I can't stop shaking.
So why do I disappear,
When you come near.
It makes me feel so small.
If I could read your mind,
Girl would I find,
Any trace of me at all.

If I could be your superman,
Flying to the stars,
And back again.
Cause every time you touch my hand,
You feel my powers, running through your veins.
Well I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
Cause I'm no superman,
I hope you like me as I-I am, La la

If I could be your superman,
Flying to the stars,
And back again.
Cause every time you touch my hand,
You feel my powers, running through your veins.
Well I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
Cause I'm no superman-an-an,
I hope you like me as I am.

 

bygone's totally bygone now :)

I just read my old entries, first time I wrote on this blog and I just found out myself  felt so SICK when all the articles kept talking about Rey . hahaha ! I just didn't realize I ever loved him that much and compared to what I feel right now... I'm feeling NOTHING but freedom ! it feels so much better for me being all alone , better than I had to be with somebody who didn't care about me at all .. and it feels so much fun coz I had a lot of time to be spared with my friends !

Ohkay.. Stop talking about him, it makes me so sick. lets talking bout cloud then ;)

I guess.. I got my inspiration back and I just wrote this poem..

inspired by him :)

I can feel such a love when I see you

though I do it from miles

I feel a life when I can go through

Coz I know your love contains no lies

When life gives me reason to cry

I glance at you to see you smile

and I can't wait the day to see you again

I got so much of you relieving my pain !

you can see what people can't

and you accept me in the best way you can

I know what life means now

Coz when you're here, it gives me meaning somehow...

laziness no more .

pagi ini dimulai dengan sesuatu yang cukup.. ehm.. mengejutkan hehhe. for the first time in my life, I woke up early this morning and I AM STUDYING . yap .

demi MAMA, demi IP diatas 3 kalau bisa 4 . gapapa pasang target yang tinggi, dengan gitu aku bakalan berusaha semaksimal mungkin, kan ? :)

dan pagi ini, renungan buat saat teduhku bener-bener mengena buat aku.

"Hai, pemalas, pergilah kepada semut, perhatikanlah lakunya dan jadilah bijak. ~Amsal 6:6"

Begitu baca ayat itu aku langsung merasa tertampar, ya, karena aku memang seorang PEMALAS selama ini. apa-apa disuruh malas. belajar, malas. ngerjain pekerjaan rumah, malas. malas, malas, dan malas.

dan Tuhan itu nggak suka orang pemalas ! lagian apa susahnya mengerjakan apa yang sudah menjadi bagianku sebagai seorang mahasiswi ? :)

okay, so I guess now I'm gonna turn off my laptop and start studying SERIOUSLY . hihhi .

and thank God for Your reminder today, I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH :) 

exam always SUCKS .

they come and go .. the right one will stay .

there's a lot of people have been coming into my life. some of them stayed, some of them have gone, and left such a footprints in my heart and I just can't ease it away.

and some of them have been placed the most special place in my heart.

the first one, was Sky. he still has the place until now, actually. the way he made me fall for him, I just can't forget it. He's one of a kind, one in a million, guess I would never meet somebody like him in my lifetime and it's all my fault he just let go.

this place cannot be replaced, though.

second one was my best friends, and I just have too much of them so I decide not to write their name down here just because I'm afraid if I forget one name hhe... but they're special, I just can't live without them and I will never forget the way they made me right now. Like the quotes I found yesterday, 

"New friends are fun to hang out with. But don't forget the old ones, they're the ones who made you."

and now I guess I stop searching for anybody else. I guess Sky's place still irreplaceable, and I just don't wanna feel any hurts like I just got these years, so I'm taking a rest... and I'll be back when there's a Prince in a white horse knocking my door, and just by glancing at him it makes me know that he is the one I've been waiting for this long.

actually... what kind of craps I just wrote above ?? :D

my capture :)

I fall in love with myself when I saw how I looked in this pics... I love it anyway !! :)

this one I love the most :D